Gifts at a private invitation — Hidden gaps you may not notice, Business communications between Europe and Japan (4)

True, Muriel wrote, “Please just come with empty hands”.

I did read this in the invitation for tea at her home. Then I immediately started thinking of a nice gift that would please Muriel.

On the day of the tea, I brought her a bouquet of tulips grown in a farm house near my home. I like them as they are always cut in the morning and full of fresh energy. It was my pleasure to bring the tulips to thank to her.

The tea started with a warm welcome by Muriel and her husband, Ted. They were happy with the tulips and I was happy to see them happy.

When Muriel left to the kitchen, Ted whispered to me, “Yoshiko, when we say, ‘Please come with empty hands’, it is the warmest expression of welcoming friends. We mean it. ”

I was almost startled!

I’ have realized that what I did goes against their kindness!

Muriel and Ted were kind and open-minded to understand my thankfulness. We enjoyed the tea and an apple pie baked by Ted in a sunny salon.

Three days later, I received from Muriel and Ted a photograph of the tulips happily placed in their sunny living room.

 

DSC01843
Tulips that crossed two cultures.

Lesson 1

I interpreted “Please just come with empty hands” in a Japanese way. In Japan, you are uncivilized if you go to your friend’s home without anything, even though your friend may say so in her/his invitation. In Japanese culture, always think what it is meant by words.

Lesson 2

It is safe and would even please your Japanese friends to bring some small gift, when you are invited. They may tell you beforehand, “Please just come with empty hands”. Do not take it as the words say. Words need to be understood in the Japanese cultural context. They may not expect a nice gift, but it is safe and even better to bring some small gift to express your thankfulness.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Author: Yoshiko KURISAKI (栗崎由子)

I am Yoshiko Kurisaki, Japanese, executive consultant specialising in cross-cultural management between Europe and Japan. Having lived in Europe for about 30 years, I'm back to Japan. Culture may be a stop factor in business. On the contrary, if you go beyond that, culture is a valuable source of inspirations and innovation. I help European businesses to turn cultural barriers to innovation.   栗崎由子(くりさき よしこ) 国際コミュニケーション コンサルタント。欧州で30年間、世界230か国以上の人々と仕事をして体得した本物の国際コミュニケーションのコツをお教えします。あなたの仕事が進みます、交渉が捗ります。無料相談(30分)はこちらからどうぞ → https://goo.gl/WpjQ7L

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s